Saturday, 11 January 2014

Be careful when asking me a question.

Last night my girlfriend & i were invited to a private soirée that reunites other Mistresses/Masters & their slaves/submissives. Tradition dictates that a slave/submissive is not allowed to sit at the table next to her/his Mistress/Master until they're awarded the privilege to do so. The way this privilege is awarded is quite simple. The slave/submissive is asked a single question each time they attend one of those reunion of perverts. If the answer unanimously pleases the Mistresses/Masters, the submissive/slave is finally awarded with the privilege to sit next to her/his Mistress/Master every time they join one of the get-together from that moment on.

It takes the average slave/submissive seven visits to finally be awarded that honor. This late night dinner we attended last night's, i was told it's been going on for over ten years on a weekly basis. During the course of those ten years, no slave/submissive managed to win that honor on their first time attending this gathering of kinksters. That was true up until last night! i was asked how i would creatively reward or punish my slave/submissive if i ever was a Mistress. It seems my answer as to how i would create my own bio cat-nip & condition him/her to experience arousal from it easily won me the honor to sit my once more firm ass at the table.

Thursday, 9 January 2014

A perfect circle

Even though You are Dominant & i'm submissive, we are the same. I know that it sounds odd, but we are. We are part of the same circle, the same coin. A coin can't exist without having two sides. It's what makes it beautiful, no? If only you could look through my eyes & see the person i really am, You'd realize more easily how we are the same in our differences.

i'm strong, just like You. This strength i have, it's always left me wondering one thing. Is it possible there's someone out there who's stronger than i am? Stronger than me, the submissive woman? Is it You? I'm non-existent without You & You are the same without me. We help make each other, what we are. i love being able to give You my strength, allowing You to become even stronger without having it weaken me.

i love to think of myself as being witty. Laughing & making others laugh is probably the thing I love to do the most. i have no trouble laughing at myself & with others. It helps centering myself. i'm just a tiny part of this world after all. i can't let my ego dictate my perception of life & those around me. As much as i can be sharp & stingy, those who know me personally know i can be so soft & gentle ... Vulnerable & fragile. whenever i'm upset or depressed, You end up becoming my smile & giggles. You use Your cleverness to let me know that You love me & cherish me more than anything when ever i may not want to hear it. Your cleverness feeds my wittiness, helping our world laugh & relax for a tiny fraction in time.

Am i beautiful? Sometimes i don't always see it. i think a lot women have a hard time seeing their beauty. i certainly have no problem understanding another woman who's facing trouble seeing it, where it lies & how to embrace it. In these doubts of mine, what make me beautiful? You! Gently stroking my arm, sitting above me looking into my eyes, smiling at me. What can be more beautiful than that? Snuggling with You in the night, listening to Your heart, feeling Your body next to mine. It's all beauty. Your hands, Your heart, Your soul abound of it, filling those doubts that resides inside of me.

i'm just as independent as you are, but i live to become dependent on you. To give up decisions that i want no part of, decisions we both know You thrive on, You dominant bitch. It's easy to be lulled by this dominance You have over me, Knowing You'll never take advantage of that power but use it to help nourish this gift of mine. i'll never need your money (If You had any that is), only Your voice. You never stole from me, like those thieves in the shadows, robing me of my essence, of my being, night after night. i'm giving you what i am because of my need to give myself to someone who knows how to accept & embrace me. i'm giving you my strength to nurture us, my independence to guide us, my wit to help us when we need to laugh and relax and my beauty because You are the one who see's it when i can't.

You are a Dominant. I am a submissive. We complete the coin, this circle. We are a perfect circle, one with no beginning or end. You'll never take over who i am, nor i You. We simply become a part of this whole, helping breath life into the other.

Sunday, 9 December 2012

Hypno-Tetris


Tetris! If there's a video game my baby adores playing, it's Tetris. That simple & addictive game whit pieces shaped like tetrominoes, geometric shapes composed of four square blocks each. A random sequence of Tetriminos fall down the playing field (a rectangular vertical shaft, called the "well" or "matrix"). The objective of the game is to manipulate these Tetriminos, by moving each one sideways and rotating it by 90 degree units, with the aim of creating a horizontal line of ten blocks without gaps. When such a line is created, it disappears, and any block above the deleted line will fall. When a certain number of lines are cleared, the game enters a new level. As the game progresses, each level causes the Tetriminos to fall faster, and the game ends when the stack of Tetriminos reaches the top of the playing field and no new Tetriminos are able to enter. (Yes, I stole this part from the Wikipedia Tetris page!)

Observing her play a game of Tetris on her portable console, it inspired me to create my own little version of Tetris. I'm gona apologize right away to Alexey Pajitnov, creator & designer of Tetris. Sorry comrade, even though your game inspired me, I sure won't pay you any copyrights, unless I end up ruling the world with MY version of Hypno-Tetris. I know, I know ... You don't have to remind me! Yes, I've been feeling rather dominant lately. You sure would feel such desires if you were sharing your life with this beautiful & intelligent Goddess like I am.

The moment the words GAME OVER appeared on screen, I asked her while invading her body with kisses, if she wanted to play a game that I created, a game eerily similar to Tetris, but with my own personal hypnotic inspired touch. The word YES never escaped her mouth, but with the smile that was painted on her beautiful face & look of innocent curiosity in her eyes, I knew she gave me the green light.

The fact she had came out of a long game of Tetris moments ago, I knew it would be all to my advantage. After all, those little tetrominoes were already imprinted inside her mind. When I asked her to close here eyes, she was letting me know she still felt like she was playing a game. It's a good thing she never saw my devilish grin while her eyes were resting. Otherwise she would have ran away from me. She knows too well what that grin of mine can represent

With her mind's eye, I asked her to hit the reset button & start a new game at the hardest possible level. For those of you who don't know, the hardest level of Tetris is where your screen is almost completely invaded by the tetrominoes. You have to be quick to clear the lines because the remaining pieces that are falling down are not fucking around. Already I could sense she was into it. Paying close attention to her eyelids, I could easily picture those little eyes of hers, running all over the place like little bunnies trying to escape their predators.

I tried reassuring her, letting her know that, even though the game was basically the same, some of the rules & objective had changed. Changes also applied to the design & look of the game. I explained to her that in my game, even though she was playing at the hardest level, the tetrominoes would slowly fall down as if she was playing the beginners level. After all, I was in no rush to end this game. Also, regarding the tetrominoes that filled her screen, I asked her to imagine them looking differently. I helped her to picture them as if they were forming an 8 bit version of her brain. I knew she was completely into it just with the way she was giggling, which was very positive. It was a question of time before I could really toy with her.

When you play Hypno-Tetris at the hardest setting (which is the only setting), there's only one level you have to clear. Each lines that are forming the brain on the screen, they are simply the thoughts of the player. The objective is quite simple: Clearing all the thoughts. How do you do that? With the slowly falling & relaxing thought erasing tetrominos of course! Duh!!!! It's still like playing Tetris, but my version of Tetris!

I made sure it was difficult enough for her to completely clear the level, so she could fully immerse herself into my game before I took control of it. As the game progressed, I explained to her once she had finish clearing all of her thoughts, she would have to open her eyes for me, so I would know when to stop sending her those relaxing thought erasing tetrominoes. I made sure there was a long enough gap in between the pieces I was sending her, making sure she understood the relaxing effect they had on her while they helped her in this thought erasing quest of hers. Once I had her on the cruise control, then the pieces began to fall at a faster pace, just like she was falling at a faster pace.

Soooo, When the players eyes do open & you have them drifting in a beautiful relaxing, thoughtless trance, then you tell them to close their eyes once more, because they are about to start the secret Hypno-Tetris level. Which consist of a blank screen with still softly falling tetrominoes. Those pieces are a bit different though. They are though building suggestive tetrominoes, which are a bright red color. And after you helped guiding the player to form the 10 block line suggestion or two, you then bury them underneath the awakening amnesiac tetrominoes, which are of a bright white color. Once those white pieces completely fill the screen to the top, you wake up the player. Of course, I won't go into the details as to what her red line consisted of, but I'm sure in the future there will be more and more of them inside her Hypno-Tetris secret level.

When I think about it, she never did say the 3 letter word YES ... I think I just mind raped the fuck out of her. Oh well, I'll ask for her "permission" the next time she agrees to step inside my arcade lounge.

Sunday, 23 September 2012

Over-stimulation


There is a very fine line that can be crossed when it comes to over-stimulation. It can be achieved by dragging you in a very bad place, a place you want to exit from as soon as possible, attacking you from different angles during a corrective/adjustment session, being made to endure so much pain & torture until your brain shuts downs.

The same result can be achieved by doing the complete opposite, lulling your brain & body with intense and prolonged pleasure sessions where orgasms are ripped out of your system, being transformed into an orgasmic machine until your brain fritz's out. Both lead you to experience subspace. When you have multiple sensations attacking you from different angles what ends up happening is your brain sorts of shuts downs.

I enjoy floating in that state, where I've "relaxed" myself into the sensations, where I allow my body to receive the pain or pleasure without any additional response or thoughts. My mind is calm, letting the endorphins taking hold of me, opening myself to them, letting the pain wash over me, or the pleasure filling and overflowing me. I guess I'm a junkie when it comes to intense sensation, to euphoria. It feels like pure happiness & submission. I'm in a place where I know I'd do anything for my Owner.

Having you floating in subspace is extremely valuable for your owner if He/She wishes to mentally reconstruct you. In that frame of mind, you are now malleable putty in the hands of your Owner, leaving you a lot easier to influence. It can be used to break a bad habit out of you, as well as furthering your submissive downward-spiral. I know this by experience. Over the years I've had many things "adjusted". The removal of bad habits (changing the toilet paper roll),  some of my ideas changed, my level of submission brought to a completely different level.

With years of experimentation, I can drop in subspace without having my senses bombarded by pleasure or pain. Where the desire of complete devotion & servitude triggers it. A sort of slave happiness, just by focusing on servitude I can reach a sense of pure & primal connection to my Owner. Drifting inside this tunnel vision; where my Owner is my center of attention, time fading away completely. I’ve lost many hours this way. In complete servitude bliss.

Such a symbiosis between a slave & Owner can be extremely difficult to reach. It comes with experience & time, where you & your Owner know your body & mind so intimately & masterfully that you can be put in an over-stimulated state and just never want to leave. Your brain just shuts off, done in such a pleasurable way that hours can literally pass by & you won't have a clue what just happened. Pure submission.

Thursday, 26 July 2012

Size matters?


Last night my baby asked me the following question. What is my preference when it comes penises?


Long answer short ... For my vagina, I prefer width over length. And for my ass, it's the opposite. I prefer length over width. For her, the longer the better. But length & width are irrelevant if the man does not feel confident his cock to begin with.


If the same question is asked to a man, I have no doubt in my mind he will answer length is what's most important. Having experienced many different types of cocks in my life, I always believed perception/attitude was what was the most important piece of the puzzle in most cases. A man's attitude towards his penis can be much more important than an extra inch or two on a small minded man who's well endowed.


When it comes to penises, women are taught length is not really important, it's more about the motion of the ocean. As far as I'm concerned, it's a theory spread around by intelligent men with insecurity issues. I'm not saying they are wrong, because they're not. Still, it was just placed out there to help those who felt insecure about their penises.


Insecure men will buy you flowers, invade you with literature quotes, poetry, promises, pearl necklace & give you a proficient pussy diving to blowjob ratio. All camouflage as far as I'm concerned. Which some women are more than happy with. But in all honesty, I prefer the washable kind to a real pearl necklace! But that's just me.


But, if you find a men that's confident & in love with his cock (small, average or big), you'll find out he's too busy wanting to fuck anything that moves to even care discussing the subject. The more they love their cock, no matter it's size, the more chance you'll end up enjoying the ride.


The way a confident man assaults me with his hips is another ingredient of high importance. A smaller than average dick with a tenacious thrust can be much more dominant than one who doesn't know how to "dance". I won't be able to love your cock if you can't dominate me with it. Otherwise I'll become a Tyrant in bed.


When a cock is fucking me, it's not like there is an actual sense of length or width inside my vagina or ass. There are no magical voices that are suddenly heard, letting me know the penis has breached the 7 inch barrier based on the ruler inside my pussy or ass. It does not work like that.


Different cocks, different sensations, different emotions. The most important thing is the men sense of security with his cock.

Monday, 28 May 2012

The banana incident.


One day after school I ask one of my babysiters for a banana. Which was a strange demand at the time when I think of it. I don't remember enjoying bananas growing up.


Twice my request was denied by Christine. Being the headstrong little devil that I was, after numerous begging mini-sessions, I'm finally handed a large, bright yellow banana. A victory like no other in the history of banana requests from childrens all over the world.


I go sit down at the landing of the top of their staircase with my banana in hand. I only peel a few inches of the banana skin, taking one or two small bites out of it. It was all I wanted. I've never been someone who ate a lot growing up.


Marie-Anne, the eldest of the two, notices that I barely touched the banana. Even though she was not in the kitchen during the negotiating process, she still over heard us from where she was sitting in the living room.


She comes up the stairs & tries to make me understand to finish eating that banana, having fought loudly fought for it. Rougly 15 minutes passes when she noticed the banana still in my hands, still unpeeled, untouched.


Once more I'm warned by Marie-Anne about finishing up that damn banana, waste was not allowed in that household. I remain impartial ... I will not eat the rest of it. The look on my face was more than enough to make her understand I would not take one more bite off of it.


As Christine looks on with apprehension from the bottom of the stairs, her older sister grabs the banana from my small hand, peels it open & squashes it all over my face, rubbing it's excess into my hair.


I could hear Christine screaming at her sister from the bottom of the stair. What did she say? I have no recollection what happened after that moment. Christine probably washed my face & hair. All I remember from the rest of that was a newly found emotion/sensation. It was as if I was erased from my young existence, only to be reborn in humiliation.


Christine & Marie-Anne remained my babysitters until I was old enough to be on my own. I never told my parents what happened that day. Never did they lose their temper with me afterwards. Not that I was not trying to get them angry so that I could maybe relive those newly found emotions.


Up until this day, I only take a few bites from a banana, never finishing it, secretly hoping to be punished or humiliated for my actions.

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

The enema of my fear

The humain brain is an extraordinary organ; ingenious, skilled at recognizing patterns and creating associations, and more importantly ... capable of learning. This accomodates all manner of ways to have some good old fashion kinky hooplas.


Here's a brief summary of how I was conditioned by my Mistress/friend into losing my fear of enemas. She always believed that slaves/submissives could be trained into doing anything without damaging them physically or psychologically. Since I'm someone who's overly sexual, she figured she would use my love for anything sexual into conditioning me. And did she ever!!!


My Conditioning - Phase 1:


The first step in my conditioning was to associate a piece of jewelry (bracelet) with the state of high arousal. It was important that I was the one chosing the item instead of her; I was not allowed to try it on, only to pick it based on it's look. Once the desired item bought, I had to hand it to her.


The second step was fairly easy to do, and a lot of fun. It basically consisted of getting me extremely aroused by any means necessary. Once the desired state of arousal was reached, she simply asked me to place the bracelet around my wrist. I was to keep it on for as long as I was being kept aroused,to the verge of orgasmic bliss, but never allowed to climax. After doing so for a complete month, at least 3 times a day, whenever I would put the bracelet on afterward, I immediately enter this highly sensitive stage of arousal. What she did was simple, she conditioned to associate a certain level of arousal to this piece of jewelry.


My Conditioning - Phase 2:


For this phase, I also had to pick something. This time it was a word. Any word, for as long as it was a word of my choosing. Once the word was chosen (No, I'm not saying what this word is since it's still very effective today), she slowly conditioned me to associate this specific word with having an orgasm. Each time she got me to climax, she would continuously repeat it for the duration of my orgasm. Every day, 3 times a day for an entire month, while wearing the bracelet around my wrist. After a while, she had conditioned to orgasm whenever & more importantly, wherever I would hear the word.


After two months, I was now constantly aroused whenever the bracelet was around my wrist, ready to explode whenever the magical word would float inside my ears. Needless to say, I was a very happy & obedient little kitty at that point, completely forgetting what the goal of this conditioning was.


My conditioning - Phase 3:


Now it was time to get rid of my fear of receiving an enema. After the last two months, I was looking forward to purifying my soul (And rectum) of this fear of mine. That was before I was asked to hand back my bracelet, to go home & wait until she came to see. After three long days, she finally stopped by my apartment. The first thing I did when I saw her was to beg her for the bracelet back. Anyone that knows me, they know I'm not one for begging. That's how strongly I had attached myself to it. Seeing the grin on her face, I knew I was in for it. She was very gentle, but could be so sadistic in her gentleness. She had me exactly where she wanted me.


We sat down on the couch, where she slowly began explaining to me in loving details what she would do to me. The more she talked, the deeper my aprehension and fear was building up. When she could see me twisting in my seat, she began explaining to me she would only do it until I would ask her to do it to me. I had to do it in a way where I sounded convincing while doing so. I was allowed to once try every 24 hours; trying to convince her how much I craved for my enema. By failing to do so, my punishment was a pretty harsh one. Knowing how much I cared & loved her, I would not be allowed to communicate with her for a long & dreadful 24 hours. After which I would be allowed to see her again; trying to show her I really meant it this time.


It took me at least two weeks before finally convincing her that I truly craved one of my deepest fears. I ended up begging her, describing how much I lusted for it until I had convinced not only her, but myself of much it was something I desired. The following day I was to head to her place, ready to receive my enema. She took good care of me whilst prepping me for it. She could sense how nervous I still was, even though I truly wanted it. That's when she handed me back my bracelet. The second I felt it around my wrist, the little fear that was still inside of me drifted away. She had to restrain me since I could not stop caressing myself, a bit too much for her liking. Right before the dreaded enema nozzle penetrated me, that's when she began whispering that magical word, over & over. I was now in heaven as my fear vanished.


Up to this day, I still have the bracelet, the magical word is still highly effective & I can't wait for my next enema ...